Fucking Art.
Remember the last time you were boinking that really hot chick/dude and you were all like, Wowee, I wish I could remember this moment forever… and I sure wish that I had some black paint all up in my crack and junk. Yeah that’d be sooooo hot.
Well lucky for you, lover of sloppy sex, now there’s the Love is Art Kit!
It’s so fucking easy to make sexxxy art with this thing! Just find a willing participant, throw down the canvas, cover your naughty bits and shamefully hot abs in paint and fuck on it!
When you’re all done you can even take the canvas and have it stretched so your hideous love making can be hung on a wall for all to see!
I’m making one of these and totally putting it in my dining room. That way when I have dinner parties my guests will be all like, “OMG is that a Franz Kline?”
And then I’ll be all like, “No, it’s the time I raw-dogged a homely waitress from TGI Fridays.”
Hey, you guys want to know how to become a super awesome creative person that sells super awesome creative things? You simply jump on the muthafuckin’ bandwagon like these idiots here!
Look at me! I took a boring ass quote and totally jazzed it up by making it about cupcakes and coffee and everyday boring ass suburbanite shit. Boring ass people are totally going to buy these and hang them in their boring ass McMansions. All those bitches love box wine and cupcakes! Oh gawd, I’m so smart. Imma make so much money!
These uninspired, moronic posters make me want to puke and then go punch a kitten in it’s face. That’s how much I hate these fucking things.
OMG you guys! Remeber Seinfeld? Remember how fucking funny it was!?! Remember that episode where, heh-heh, they wanted to get soup, heh-heh-heh, but then, like, the guy didn’t want to give them any! HAHAHAHAHAhahahaAHHAHAHAHA!
Put this print on your wall! Right. Fucking. Now. Then you can pretend it’s the 90’s every day and all your friends will think you’re so fucking funny. Because that Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld was so fucking funny. See the correlation? Awesome, now get out of my face so I can go make some Campbell’s Chicken & Stars.
Seinfeld - Soup Nazi Print by Typogy on Etsy
See. Spot. Derp.
Hey you fuckers! Look over there! It’s mother fucking Damien Hirst. He’s like a super-fucking-famous artist dont’chaknow. What do you mean you don’t know?! Are you trying to make my head explode with your nonsense! He’s like super-relevant for putting animals in formaldehyde, gluing a bunch of diamonds to a skull and painting lots of fucking spots.
Bask in his raw and amazing talent! Of course he just “designs” the spots. His assistants paint them, but that just shows what a real fucking artist he is man.
He’s so talented that a crapload of museums are all showing his spot paintings, like all over the fucking world, at the same time. Wow! That way, like, a bunch of people, from a bunch of different places, can all view spots at the same time. Brilliant! His genius can’t even be contained to a single museum! That’s how fucking awesome he is!
Look at all these idiots that came out to look at spots!
“Yeah, he really connects to my soul with his use of color.” Says obviously stoned art school student Tiffany Amber Persephone-Rose.
Yeah, get in there dude. You gotta get really close to take in all that detail!
photos | Juxtapoz
